When I mow the lawn...

I am doing it only out of love for you.  I know there are some people who enjoy mowing the lawn or are so controlling they won't let anyone else do it, but I'm not one of those people.  I never saw my mother mow a lawn in her life.  I'm not saying she hasn't done it, I just don't ever remember her doing it.  Maybe it is because most of my life we lived in apartments or maybe it is because our lawns that didn't have sprinklers weren't much of a lawn or maybe it's because the one time we did have a house with a small back piece of lawn maybe 8 by 15 feet we had a step dad that went with that house that mowed.  I remember the one time he was going to let me mow the lawn.  It is hard to remember back now if this was a "let me" or "force me" situation.  I know it is hard to believe with how diplomatic I am now (uh huh....) but the years of 11-15 were pretty rough in my house.  So this may have been a punishment or maybe I just thought it would be cool to do it.  He made me go inside and put shoes on.  Ok that makes sense because I was most likely barefoot or wearing flip flops, so closed toed shoes I went in to find.  Then he made me find a pair of pants and a long sleeve shirt.  Sure I had them because I spent 11-13 in an alternative funk following bands who lived in the Pacific Northwest where lumber jack shirts would be totally appropriate, but usually I only wore them in the winter when it was like 70 or from air condition room, to air conditioned car, to air conditioned room.  But here I was, the middle of summer, shoes on my feet, jeans on, a long sleeved plaid shirt and then he handed me the googles.  My step dad always mowed the lawn with protective eye wear.  PROTECTIVE EYE WEAR PEOPLE!  I've worked in a lab, I've taken plenty of chem classes, I understand the importance of protecting your eyes, but I am not going to wear googles outside in the middle of an Arizona summer.  I swear it was like noon, but honestly it was probably like 8 am and already stiffing.  It is hard for me to remember accurately though because I also had a pair of man sized garden gloves on he insisted I wear and I couldn't have seen a watch had I wanted to.  I'm also almost 100% sure our mower did not have a motor assist on it.  I was dying.  I think I did about two rows, said I was done, walked away from the mower and threw and the gloves and googles down never to be picked up again.

So when we moved to this house and were suddenly responsible for our new overly lush lawn I just expected you would always take care of it, and usually you do, but the thing with the weather here is about 1/3 of the year our law is mush.  So sometimes on the days you were home there was no way to mow and then it would be like another 14 days before you'd be home again and meanwhile our yard was turning into a jungle.  So one day when the yard was terrible and I just didn't know what else to do, I put some tennis shoes on and I pulled the mower out.  Since that moment I'm the back up mower, although depending on how the month is going (I've done the last three mows in a row) I might actually be the number one mower.  I don't wear protective eye wear, I don't wear gloves, I have a mower that has a little motor that helps pull it along, and I live in state that while it may get a \hot in the summer stays in temperatures that can support human life.  I like being outside although I don't particularly enjoy mowing.  The grass sometimes makes me eyes itch.  I'm always a little freaked out about hitting a rock and blinding myself, I think we all know why.  It can be hot.  I'm worried about running over baby bunnies.  I actually do a baby bunny check about three feet ahead of the mower as I go.  I hate mowing behind our fence.  It is bumpy and scary and frankly opening that back gate takes almost herculean strength.  I do it because I love you.  Each time I mow that lawn I am mowing into the grass: I love you, I care about you, I want to make your load lighter, I want to give you a little bit more free time.  At least that is what I'm saying until Captain E get's enough girth on him to push the mower himself.  Then I'm kicking this job on to him :)