Tuesday, April 14, 2020
We are moving into the second month of social distancing, the third week of homeschooling the kids, the fifth week of them not going anywhere, the fourth day of Dr. J sleeping in the travel trailer because he is now on the team treating covid patients. I take one grocery trip a week. Last week we started wearing mask at the grocery store. Today I announced at dinner, "It's possible I'm depressed." Man I feel for my kids. There are thing I love about this time. I've enjoyed spending more time with the kids that isn't filled with rushing places. We play more games, have more time for reading, and do way more projects and crafts. It has been nice to see some places I can help them with school work. Home church is actually short and surprisingly sweet. My youngest loves not going to preschool and having all his older sibings home. I love not rushing to dance, soccer, all the extras after school. My two oldest are bindge watching Parks and Rec with me. We laugh so hard. I've gotten to talk to my siblings far more often then normal. These are the things I will cherish from this time. Things I miss. Hugging people. I'm not even a hugger but I miss it. Even Dr J and I rarely hug now and we never kiss. We are just trying to minimize exposures. I miss seeing friends. I miss eating out at restaurants and going to movies. I miss date night. I miss not feeling fear when my husband goes to work and having fear for the health of people. I miss not worrying about job loss, but that of my siblings and just the broader world in general. I miss vacations, appointments, the ability to make any type of real plans. I feel for the kids. They are all missing so much right now. In our house we've had tears over missed friends, performances, events. They are acutely aware of the pain the rest of the world is going through. Life goes on, but sometimes it feels like it will never be the same.