A Name and a Blessing

Remember that trip we took back in March, well there was a point to that crazy rushed week and the main point was blessing out baby with our friends and family.  In a lot of ways I don't feel like we were able to enjoy Cheetah's birth in the way were able to enjoy the birth of our other children so we wanted to make sure that this first major event in her life was done right.  We got permission to have her blessed in the ward Dr. J grew up in, his grandparents ward and then we invited all of our Utah family and friends.  Grandma Tolman bought her dress just like all the other girls and I got her an adorable headband and the cutest little pink cheetah prints shoes I've ever seen.  

Daddy gave her the blessing, and here it is:

Dear Heavenly Father, we gather as a group of Melchizedek Priesthood holders to give this child a name and a blessing.  The Name by which she shall be known on the records of the church is ...(If you still don't know it and want to e-mail me).  With this name we give her a blessing.  We bless her with health, energy and with vitality.  We bless her with a love of music.  We bless her with intelligence.  We bless her with faith and with a love of the scriptures.  We bless her that she will have a desire to serve in thy kingdom to bless the lives of others.  That she will have a desire to come unto thee, to bring others unto thee as well.  We ask for these blessings in addition to any other blessing thou wishes to bestow on her, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.  

I'm so grateful for the outpouring of family and friends who came to join us in the event.  My only regret, most of them didn't join the circle.  I asked Dr. J if he was going to invite people and he said, "They are invited to blessing, they'll know."  Turns out most of them didn't.  I lay this at the feet of my husband who just isn't a planner, but we are still glad for everyone who came!

Be prepared for picture overload.  Can't help it...isn't everyday your baby meets her whole family.  

Cheetah and grandpa Bob.  I expect she will adore him...all my other girls do!

Momma and baby!  Love my little girl!

 My cousin Peggy.  

 Baby Girl and Her Daddy

 We had a lunceon planned for after, but for whatever reason I didn't think to take this picture until half the group had already left.  Sorry Cheetah here is only half your family who loves you....

 My THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS!!!!

Preemie Life - Day 10

Look at me, look at me!  Got to love the outfits.  It really does make Cheetah look a little more baby like...tiny, tiny baby like but a normal little baby non the less.  Yesterday I went to church with my children and my mother-in-law.  I figured I've got drugs and a binder, it can't be any worse then laying in bed all day.  Not that I've gotten to do much of that.  The thing about having a preemie is going to see your baby is a little bit of work.  They aren't just sitting in the bed next to you.  Getting to my baby takes scheduling, planning, a twenty minute drive (done by someone else, I'm still on restricted driving), a nice little hike into the hospital, etc., etc.  One of the doctors said to me "Wow you are moving around a little faster today."  I had to laugh because what choice do I have.  Anyway though so what excuse did I have not to go to church, especially since it was time I could spend with my other kids.  Kind of a return to normal although it really struck me how many babies there are in our ward.  It seems like every other family has a little one to pick up, to nurse, to cuddle.  It was a little painful.  I mentioned to my husband a few days ago I was jealous of our neighbor who had her baby just the day before I had mine.  He said, "Oh but you don't want to wish ill will toward someone else."  I had to think about if for a second since I've never thought of jealousy as wishing ill will.  I think it just means I want the same thing she has...like we can have it together.  I'm happy for them and when life settles down a smidgen I totally plan on going over to say congrats, I just wish I could still be pregnant when I did it.  I laughed yesterday when I realized I wished I was still pregnant, that I actually missed it.  I mean seriously how funny is that.  Anyway I also had the realization at church yesterday that for me, as a preemie mom the question I hate the most is "SO WHEN IS YOUR BABY COMING HOME?"  I probably had six or seven well meaning members/friends ask me that yesterday and it either brought me to tears or nearly almost there.  I'm not mad at anyone, I know they mean well, it just isn't something I want to talk about right now.  I wonder, from other preemie moms, was that your least favorite question as well?  Because the thing is I can talk about how fabulous she is doing, up to 22mls of breast milk every 3 hours, being weaned off the TPN today, only having the PICC line in with clear fluid for the next few days to see if we can wean her off it, gained a whole ounce last night, but that doesn't mean she's coming home tomorrow.  The answer to the question is PROBABLY EARLY JANUARY.  Everyone doctor we know has given us that date.  A few have said, if she continues to do exceptionally we can POSSIBLY bring her home for CHRISTMAS!  Which last time I looked at the calendar was nearly two months away, a truly long slog.  So if you know me, please pass the word around that Cheetah probably won't be home until her due date, January 9th, and if we are really lucky late December.  It just makes it easier to deal with if I don't have to think about it often.  Sometimes living in denial is just an easier place to be.

Day 34 - Alone

Today I'm Thankful For: For the village of people who help me with my kids.  We had stake conference today.  Elder Bednar from the quorum of the twelve, part of the head of my church, was there to speak.  On the best day stake conference is a challenge.  The kids are trapped on hard metal chairs for two hours of speaking.  It is like double sacrament meeting except the only part of sacrament meeting they actually enjoy, the sacrement isn't present.  Add the stress of the fact that I was flying solo and we had a general authority there and my stress levels were pretty high.  We avoided the gym, the seats were mainly full, and the idea of being in there with the kids...well it wasn't pretty.  Instead we headed to the relief society room where conference was being projected on a the TV and the seats were padded.  My visiting teacher was there and three friends from my old ward.  Their kids entertained mine.  They helped share toys.  They offered up other entertainment.  We made it until the closing song when I finally took the kids out into the hall, and then I jetted before the closing prayer....Peach was on the edge of a melt down.  It was an interesting conference.  Going to BYU I had several opportunities to hear general authorities speak but this was my first stake conference with one.  Our stake president focused on the ten virgins and Lehi's dream.  He pointed out that 5 of the virgins were at the right place, they were dressed correctly, and they had the right desire but they were not prepared and thus missed their chance to enter into the wedding.  His challenge to us was not be like those virgins.  Then Elder Bednar spoke.  He did something I've never seen done before in any meeting.  He essentially reemphasized our stake presidents talk.  He started by pointing out the right our stake president has to receive revelation for our stake and then went through President Lunt's talk, pointing out the words he gave that should have clued us into the fact that this was revelation for us and restated his main points.  This was the only part I was able to jot down:  This will sound counter intuitive to most of you but Testimony is not an ending point.  Instead it is only the beginning a place to step off of.  It is just the starting place.  True conversion is being true to what we know to be true, to our testimony.  Alma chapter 23.  He emphasized that like the five wise virgins to the five foolish, no one can give you conversion.  That is something that you have to work on for yourself.  He also said that the rock of our conversion must be Jesus Christ.  You can not stay truely converted if your testimony is based soley on a person, an event, or a program.  He ended with a blessing on the congregation to be in conjunction with the song How Firm a Foundation, but at this point I was pretty stressed out and my ability to feel any peace had left with my daughter's fuss to try to get to the drinking fountain.  Regardless his comments left me with a lot to think about and some ideas to implement in my life.  So end story, it might not have been pretty but we made it, thanks most in part to the Lukes, Jones, and Washburns.

Today I didn't:

-wash dishes.

-put laundry away...I folded the stuff I did on Saturday but it is still sitting on the floor.

Today I:

-explained to my daughter that she is only allowed to put on makeup when I'm in the room with her.  I was made aware of the problem when Captain E said, "Hey what is wrong with Gigi's face?"

-took my daughter out in the hallway and hugged her during stake conference when all I really wanted to do was spank her bottom.  The nice thing is she hugged me back.  Then I felt better and we got to continue on.

-heard Peach say, "This is a ball," while she was holding a ball out for me to see.  It was so freakish I said, "Um did you really just say that."

-had to tell my kids, "No guys, we only kiss people we are married to on the lips."  

-had Captain E read a verse out of the Book of Mormon for us.  We usually do a picture and scripture story for scripture study but I decided since Captain E is reading we should probably revert back to some actually scripture reading again.  I thought he could read a verse each night and then we would tell our picture story.  I helped with the words he didn't know and you could definitely see his excitement.  He said, "Mom I read more words then you, didn't I?"