Lucky me, I got to sleep two great three hour stretches last night. I know that doesn't sound so good but when you are in a hospital bed, I think it is quite the accomplishment. Hospital beds, those overly hard metal frames, the plastic covered pillows, the thin plastic foam mattress, just isn't the foundation for a good nights rest. Exhaustion got the best of me though and I really enjoyed those uninterrupted hours of zzz's. Dr. J took the day off to try to get his mom used to the town and home. She's got my debit card, she has the gps, I typed up an excel sheet schedule of our week, outlining wake up, school, carpool, homework, emergency numbers, what Captain E eats for lunch and snack, when library day is. Dr. J doesn't want to print it out. Apparently it is eight pages long! Who knew that all those little bits of nothing that I do everyday actually add up to quite a bit of work. The truth is it actually gave me a validation on my role at motherhood. Sometimes I feel like I'm just churning my wheels, but on my computer I have eight pages that prove that I am a busy lady, that everyday I'm doing something, that I am a necessary cog in wheels of life. Of course that makes me feel a little guilty that I'm not able to currently do my jobs, but I'm so grateful for a mother-in-law who so quickly got out here to take on my role, to love my children and take on my jobs. I'm still on the labor and delivery floor but I'm going to oral antibiotics tomorrow and I don't need any more steroids so tomorrow they will be moving me to the post delivery side. Dr. J will be starting a new rotation next week. Everyone pray he is up to snuff, that he can learn, that he can be helpful to his patients, that he can have a clear mind, that he can be an excellent resident, and that he can be a stand up resident for his team. His program director has not exactly thought that he could handle it and we feel like it is really important that he be able to prove his worth. Pray for us! My day today has actually been wonderful. I've had several visitors, I was able to do some work, and best of all I saw my kids. Dr. J asked the Elder's Quorum President to come by and help him give me a blessing of health, and the EQ ran into one of our bishopric members, a fellow currently stationed in my hospital. They both came by and I gave them a humorous version of the events of the last few days. I was feeling quite proud of myself until Dr. J came into the room with my three kids. Peach said, "I want my mama," and when she crawled into my arms I burst into tears. It was actually quite embarrassing. I have to say this experience has really opened my eyes as to how joyful I actually feel about motherhood. In the daily grind I sometimes get bogged down in the monotony and there are moments like when my two year old refuses to sit on the toilet or my seven year old is whining or my four year old is yelling that I don't appreciate the calling as much, but the truth is I love my children so much. Their faces fill my heart with light and being able to care for them brings purpose and joy to my life. I miss it so much I hope that I never again take for granted what a blessing my current role in life is.
Things about the hospital I hate: Being stuck here, lukewarm food, hospital beds, having an IV, not being able to have a bowel movement (I get seriously stressed out about non home potties), being asked every couple of hours about bowel moments that aren't happening, not being able to walk around, not wearing normal clothes, not seeing my children, not being able to cuddle with my hubby, not having my razor or deodorant and not being able to just go and get some for myself.
Things that are ok about being in the hospital: Everyone is so nice. Food is brought on a tray with just a phone call. All the ice a girl could want. Great help. Everyday they come and ask me if there is a nurse that stands out, and the truth is they all stand out. Every person I come in contact with, every nurse, every student, every resident, every ob, every specialist, every person who brings me a food tray, every cleaner is so nice. The nurses tell me it is because I'm an easy patient, that I always ask with a please, that I always say thank you, that I always smile, that I turn my TV off when they come in the room, that I end my phone conversations, that I chat them up. I don't know if that is true or not. I personally think they are just always nice, but my husband says not all patients are easy and that they probably really do mean it, that it is a joy to take care of the nice ones. So if you find yourself in an extended hospital situation keep that in mind. It is easy to be nice and the pay off is so worth it!