Visiting Dad at Work?

Sometimes our dad forgets to bring his stuff with him.  It is hard to the blame the guy.  Sometimes he's sleeping at the hospital every fourth night, that means he's working from 7 to Noon the next day.  He's only getting four days off in the whole month.  Oh and he's getting up at five thirty.  I guess the deal is during hospital months sometimes Dr. Daddy gets exhausted and when Dr. Daddy gets exhausted sometimes he forgets his stuff.  A few weeks ago he forgot his pager and his wallet, I don't know how, but it did.  When you are going to be on call at the hospital for 28 hours there is just no way you can't have your pager.  So Mommy and Cheetah to the rescue.  After we dropped Peach off at school we headed off to the hospital.  This was actually the first time I'd ever seen the new Country Hospital they just built.  Oh my goodness, IT IS HUGE!  The hospital is ten stories tall, the parking garage is six.  Everything is clean and new and perfect, but the best part of the hospital is the views, they are amazing!  We got to spend a lot of time looking at those views.  When I walked into the hospital I heard a code being called.  "How much do you want to bet that is one of daddy's patients," I asked Cheetah and we walked down the hall.  Guess what, it was!  We saw him running down the hall as we got off the elevator.  Forty-five minutes later another doctor came out the waiting room to where we were waiting.  "So (Dr. Daddy) is with a coding patient.  I can take his pager and wallet if you'd like."  So that's what we did.  I handed off the wallet and pager and we headed off back to go pick Peach up from preschool.  We were five minutes from downtown when I got a call from Dr. J.  "Are you still here?"  "Nope, sweetie, I'm long gone."  Sometimes I don't get to see my husband because he is literally saving peoples lives or at least trying to save their lives.

This actually came to head for me a couple Sunday's ago.  I don't know what happened but we just do not have enough benches in our ward.  Maybe it is the three sets of missionaries we have.  Maybe it is the one less active family that has started coming again, maybe it is just the fact that our building is pretty much the smallest non branch meeting house they make.  Whatever it is the last few weeks I haven't been able to get on a bench.  It is so frustrating.  Most Sunday's I'm on my own so it is a balancing act trying to figure out what time to come to church early enough to get a bench but late enough that I'm not adding to much extra time sitting alone with my kids.  It used to be that ten minutes was time enough.  Now fifteen minutes is not enough.  I walked into church fifteen minutes to go and even though only 1/4 of the chapel was full every empty bench was being saved with spread out scriptures and books.  Am I the only person in the world who finds this habit totally annoying?  It is seriously so embarrassing to walk down both rows dragging four kids behind and every bench I come to, SAVED, frustrating as well.  The perpetrators of this, everyone coming to early morning meetings.  I guess I get that they are trying to save a seat for their spouse and children that are going to be coming later because those wives are going to straggle in because they are getting kids ready by themselves but this woman who also has to get kids ready all by herself because her husband is busy trying to keep people from dying, well she finds it super annoying.  Throw on the fact that our ward refuses to pass sacrament in the foyer and the truth is there are many Sunday's when I start church already a little annoyed, then I get to sit with four crazy kids for an hour.  Good times, good times.  

Finding a Place to Stay During Away Rotations - med school

When Dr. J was doing his away rotations four years ago we just went on craigslist to find him places to stay.  It was sort of sketchy but he managed last minute to scrounge up something in both cities.  Today I was looking online and I happened to find this site rotatingroom.com.  Hello amazing!  Why didn't I think of that.  Med students can find a room to rent or place a room to be rented while they are gone or if they just have an extra room.  Seriously people, this is so helpful!

Father's Day, A Staph Infection, and A Plea for Hair Help

 Father's Day.  My kids have a great dad.  He brings home the bacon both literally and metaphorically.  He loves and supports their mom.  He has a better idea of scale when it comes to things like Christmas and Birthdays.  He is fun and warm and present.  Those things might seems silly but I'm a girl who grew up without my dad and so I really understand how important those things are.  We love our dad and wanted to tell him so.  A few weeks ago we bought him a kindle.  He has all kinds of gadgets but he wanted to try his hand out digital ink.  So far he hasn't really had to the time to use it.  So that gift was not so much of a hit.  Meanwhile this pintrest find was.  There is not a single one of those m&ms left, two bags, completely gone  The kids also put together a book for him, which of course he loved because the man is a sentimental type guy.  He'd like you to believe otherwise.  Don't be fooled.


Meanwhile on the home front I was pretty much dying.  I got this sty in my eye.  First the bottom swelled up, then the top.  I used some drops that I had an allergic reaction to.  My left side of my face was a mess.  I pretty much went blind in my left eye and was in throbbing pain.  At 3:30 in the morning I almost took myself to the ER.  But then I realized Dr. J had to leave for work in less than three hours.  So there you have it folks.  Your medical emergencies are more important than mine.  Welcome to being the Doctor's Wife.  That entire day I couldn't see, couldn't tolerate any sun in my eye and  in some horrible twist of fate could also barely open the one that wasn't red.  The kids watched movies all day.  They ate whatever they wanted.  I stayed in the dark and nursed the baby, occasionally venturing out to get more sugar cereal down for them.  The third day the blindness only lasted until one.  The forth day only until noon.  The fifth day by nine I could see.  My eye is no longer red and for the most part the swelling has gone down.  I think there is still a little there, seems to me my right eye is just a smidge bigger than the left still.  Maybe it's just my imagination.  I'm still having a little sensitivity to light but at least I can see, and read, am no in pain, and no longer look like a zombie.  It got pretty bad!

I blame this illness on the craziness of the Relief Society.  A few weeks ago we had a young woman's activity where we borrowed the Relief Society's white table cloths.  I brought the table cloths home to wash.  We'd had a lasagna dinner and some of the cloths were covered in sauce.  I tried spray and shot.  I tried Tied.  I bleached them.  I put lemon juice on them and set them out in the sun.  Some of the spots would not leave.  Dr. J told me I was a nut. "No one cares that much," he said.  Later when I turned in the mostly cleaned table cloths (although still slightly stained in some places) the Relief Society president told me about how she'd been working on a couple of stains for a year.  They care.  Anyway back during the cleaning process I managed to splash a little bleach on the corner of my eyelid.  I rinsed it thoroughly but in the end had a little sore right in the crease.  Every day a little crust would build up in that corner poking me.  I'd wipe it out with a finger.  My guess, I gave myself a staff infection on one of those swipes.  Remind me to never to touch my eyes again :)

Finally, any suggestions on what to do with Peach's hair?  It is so fine and thin it just is always everywhere.  I've tried barrettes, clips, ponies.  I wet it down.  I brush it.  I use detangler.  I'm thinking about just gelling it flat.  This girl just has wild hair.  It is always all over, in her eyes, and standing straight off the back of her head.  I cut it into a bob but it is the craziest thing you've ever seen.  She is constant ragamuffin girl.  What is a mom to do?

Feelings of Self Doubt Revisited

Well it appears I'm not the only stay at home mom who feels the pressure of self doubt.  Plenty of you commented or mentioned to me personally that you deal with similar feelings.  I appreciate your insight as well as your support, especially just realizing how many boat mates I have.  I had to mention this letter I received from a friend of ours from the beginning of all this schooling.  She's one of those girls I mentioned whose very existence makes me feel self doubt.  We met when she was only one degree ahead of me and still in the mist of all the crazy grad/med school craziness.  Now eight years later she's almost half way through an obgyn residency and has three more degrees then I do.  She's pretty much amazing.  She sent me this letter after reading my blog and the truth is it made me cry, and then when I tried to tell my mom about it I started crying again.  So here it is...

Hey Crystal-
Was reading your post and hoping to offer a few words of encouragement from the other side of things. After completing intern year I continue to be amazed that anyone can maintain a relationship with any resident. Residency is a very selfish process when it comes to a relationship. It demands just about all a person can give and I think often leaves residents offering the short sitck in a relationship. I think it takes a lot of love, patience and understanding to be the spouse of a resident and add kids on top and you pretty much have a saint.
Your children are very lucky to have you and all your energy, taent and intelligence. I am sure the time and gifts you give to them will reach many people in their futures that you cannot even imagine. At my residency there is this fairy tale that is perpetuated that you can be great as a doctor, parent, spouse and researcher. While I think you can have all those things, you can't have them to the same level or success that you can have fewer priorities. Time and again I've seen my co-residents shocked to find problems in their relationship they were too busy to appreciate. I think the people you are meeting are blinded in the same way with their comments. They operate in the realm they know and so work is expected. They don't truly look down on you- they are jsut blinded that the other options exist anymore because they have been in the system so long.
I remember many years ago talking with you about going back to school and I was worried (quietly to myself) when baby 1 came that you would later regret giving up so much because you seemed so interested in so many academic ventures, but from a far I've watched and seen how much joy you have from your children, husband and your role in their lives. It seems to me you have gained a rich and full life in many arenas that fills that intellectual curiosity and the emotional part of you too. 
Well that's just my two cents. I'll be thinking of you during this rough transition year. If you ever need an ear, I'm here.

Michelle
What a compliment to know that my efforts are being watched and noticed by someone I myself admire and to receive outside support from someone on a side of life I sometimes find myself coveting.  Thanks Michelle, I appreciate your words of wisdom, your insight, and your support!!!!  Also great advice for anyone in a very demanding profession.   

Feelings of Inadequacy

Dr. J has started his residency.  Eight years of hard work, sacrifice, movement forward have lead to this event.  It is a necessary step in our life's progression and I am overjoyed to be here, that being said  there are a  few things that will cause these next few years to not be a joy ride.

First, Scheduling Woes:
Residency rules have changed and there is now an 80 hour work week limit for intern year as well as a 15 hour a day cap.  The  positive, no 100 hour work weeks this year (the same isn't guaranteed for next year).  The negative, 80 hours, which they are expected to work all of, is actually quite a lot.  By getting rid of night call they've actually forced the time to all be split up so they get four days off a month and have to work something like 13 1/2 hours a day.  Add in driving time and my hubby will pretty much be gone from waking hours to kid's bedtime.  I'm grateful that he will be home for bedtime stories but I'm sad to realize that the string of going to school plays, parent teacher conference, running kids to sporting events, class field trips, doctor's appointments, music lessons, play dates, cooking, cleaning will all still be alone activities.  Most distressing, because days off are not automatically scheduled and must be individually requested off and given with preferential treatment being given to senior residents in regards to weekends church with three children has now become a stand alone event until some yet to be determined time.  This is exceptionally frustrating.  At Dr. J's medical school, and the two places he did  away rotations, (University of Utah and Oregon Health Sciences) days off were scheduled automatically on a revolving schedule with residents being given the option to trade days off with others, meaning I knew Dr. J would get a Sunday off every seventh week, or a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.  This allowed one to make future plans like schedule doctors appointments and to have a weekend day off at least once a  month, a huge benefit I already greatly miss.  Since there is no guarantee here, expect lots of future post chronically my adventures of church, school, and events alone.

Second, Major Feelings of Inadequacy:
I predicted this prior to it happening.  I said to Dr. J right before we moved, "I'm going to need a little extra support with something.  So far most of the woman we associate with on a regular basis have been students (not so different from where I'm at), but as we move into a time when they are mostly career woman I'm going to be dealing with some feelings of inadequacy.  I need you to be aware and walk carefully."  I felt prophetic when we went to one of the opening picnics.  The first person I talked with, one of the Department Chairs for Internal Medicine asked me immediately what I'd studied in school.  I told him human biology.  He then asked what I was doing with my time and I told him I had three kids at home who I stayed home with.  He looked at me for a second and then said, "Well I guess now that your husband is done you can probably find some time to go back to school."  I said something noncommittal, smiled, and took my plate to the table where one of the other wives questioned me about my current employment status.  When I told her I was at home with the kids, she said, "Well it's probably hard to find a job in a new city.  Don't worry it will happen for you soon."  I laughed but the truth is comments like these, even the very existence of all the female residents, doctors, nurses, hospital administrators, residency coordinators, etc, who all have careers and at least one more degree or for some of them two or more, stirs an internal debate I find myself having to revisit more often then I care to admit.

I was raised by a single mother who needed a career in order to feed her children.  I have always loved learning and school and college definitely was always in the cards for me.  I have always wanted to contribute to the greater world and to not have to worry about myself financially.  A career seemed an obvious step in the progression.  I have also always expected to have a large family and after I got married it seemed natural to progress to having children.  Captain E was born after Dr. J's first year of his MD/PhD.  G Bear followed 21/2 years later, Peach, 21/2 years following that.   When the kids were younger I worked as a grader, a course organizer, worked on a few research projects, and did transcription.  It was a way to bring in extra money and it kept my mind busy.  I always intended to go back to school, but finances were so tight, and Dr. J so busy it seemed like the time was never right and so as more kids came and things got busier I found myself naturally progressing into the stay at home mom role.

There are lots of benefits to this position.  I get to spend all my time with my children.  I get to see all the cute moments.  Many of them I capture on film, all of them are captured in my memory.  I have plenty of time to teach my children.  As my kids have started to enter school it has become glaringly obvious to me that kids who do the best are the ones who have lots of parent involvement.  My kids are not denied this opportunity due to my own time constraints.  My kids are able to do dance, gymnastics, sports, many of the activities my mom was unable to take us to.  I get to spend a lot of time playing with my children.  I've had the time to be able to volunteer at the school and both this year and last spent at least an hour a week in the classroom helping the teacher.  The benefits of this were far reaching.  I knew all the children in my son's classroom and it made it easier to talk to him about what was going on at school.  It also had benefits when it came to dealing some of the issues he had at school related to some of his attention disabilities.  I was aware of problems almost immediate as they came up and it seemed like the good relationships I'd nurtured with his teachers paid off in their compassion toward him.  I have plenty of time to cook and clean.  It doesn't mean that these activities are always done as often as they should be or always done with joy but they get done.  I'm able to give my kids a sit down dinner each evening around a dinner table and because I have adequate time to plan, shop, prepare and cook the nutrition at our table is pretty darn good.  My kids get plenty of time to play outside.  I have the energy to give them limits on media time.  I'm carefully able to monitor their media time.  Doctor's appointments are easy for me to schedule because getting time off is not a concern.  When their dad gets supper busy and they aren't able to see him often I can take them to see him for lunch.  There are also many personal benefits.  For the first time in my life I have adequate time to exercise daily.  If I want to get together with a friend all I have to worry about is finding a babysitter.  I am an avid reader and can read whenever I want, whatever I want.  If I want to watch a movie I don't have to feel guilty that I should be doing homework or work.  I can stay up late if I want.  I get to fully enjoy my children and I am available to enjoy my husbands company in the few available hours he has.  I have time to pick up new hobbies like playing the guitar or photography.  I can talk to my sister on the phone pretty much whenever I want to.  I was able to drive my kids to school instead of forcing them to sit on the bus for two hours a day to travel the 1.5 miles to and from school.

My world of course is far from perfect.  I often feel sleep deprived.  There are times that I get frustrated with my children and they with me.  There are many days I feel unappreciated or in the least under-appreciated.  Housework can be a real drag.  There are days I am desperate for adult conversation.  There are days I'm sick of carpool.  There are days I feel like my mind is turning to mush.  There are days I crave the high of getting a work project done or the pride of getting back a good test or paper.  There are days I wish I had more spending money.  There are days I'm embarrassed by my choice, that I feel like I might be wasting my own intellect, that I may be missing a chance to make a real difference somewhere, that people are looking down on me.

It is an internal debate I find myself confronting often, grateful for some blessings, feelings of inadequacy sometimes clouding my mind with doubt.  It seems like life is often filled with choices like these.  Some choices that give you joy may also be twinged with sadness or accompanied by self doubt.  For now though I'm committed to doing my thing being the best stay at home mom I know how to be.  In the future maybe I'll find some time/money to go back to school.  Maybe I'll find something I want to do when my kids have left the nest.  For now though I'm grateful for my children who love me and a husband who takes the time to thank me for the things I do and the time I spend with the kids, and for the people who when they hear I stay home with the kids tell me that's awesome and then proceed to still want to have a conversation with me :)

Graduation Celebration

A Graduation Bananza...notice there aren't any pictures of me.  Grandpa and Grandma I'd be super grateful if you could send me a disc with all your pictures :)  Click on this collage to make it bigger.

Love this archway, just wish the fountain would have been running.

This is the lovely hood.  The blue and orange symbolize his school.  The green shows he graduated from medical school.

Gold is the color of internal medicine, silver is the color of pediatrics when it is with another specialty (otherwise it is red). The gold and silver show that he is doing a residency in medicine and pediatrics and will be board certified in both.  The key is because he graduated in honor society.  

This trip was great with grandparents.  Usually my kids are so shy, but this time they were so comfortable, even Peach.   It was great for grandparents because the kids were so loving.  It was great for this mom because I had so much help.  At graduation I didn't have to hold my children ever...with three grandmas, three grandpas, and an aunt someone else always had them.  I was able to enjoy every second.  I LOVE MY FAMILY and am so grateful they were able to come.  

Dr. J's grandma and grandpa.  Without Jane and Wid we never would have been at this point.  They instilled a love of learning that has never left my husband.

Dad, thanks for all your love and support.

Dad and mom thanks for all your love and support.

Eight years!  Thanks pretty lady for all the great memories, the three children, and the degrees :)

Do the Math-Uh-Oh

1+1=1+9=5

The answer...1 mean girl+ 1Dr. J = 1 family + 9 years = 5 family members, mean girl, Dr. J, Captain E,
Gigi, and Peach.  My neighbor asked me if I was pregnant today...I realized I wasn't clear enough on this equation :)

Have I Lost My Mind...

I've never been much of an athlete.  I was a chubby, sweaty, uncoordinated kid who during PE spent most of my time trying to hide in the bleachers or the outfield.  During the bi-yearly presidential test I could never run the full mile or do a single chin up.  My proclivity to duck and hide when an object was headed my way made me rubbish at all team sports.  In junior high I had a few years of being a decent basketball player, but that can mainly be chalked up to the fact that I was 5'7'' at 12 and it took both the girls a boys a few years to catch up.  By high school I'd completely quit trying.  I took the one year of required PE in which my coach would spend a significant amount of time yelling at me and my friends to, "get off your a*%&$ and move".  My college required 2 credits of PE which I fulfilled doing an online health class, for which I was required to walk three times a week.  Sports just really weren't my thing.  Then I married an athlete.  My husband took third place in the Utah State Wresting Championships two years in a row. (He's informed me on multiple occasions that he could have easily beat the kid who took second but that's not the way bracketing sports work ; ).  He's the kind of guy who used to take six mile jogs in the afternoon for fun.  He is a gazelle to my hippo.  In our early marriage years he'd encourage me to ride a bike along side him as he ran or to lift weights with him at night while we were watching TV.  Since then I've gotten more into exercise but I'm still not particularly good at it.  That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm going to sign up for a 10K being held in my town April 30th.  The last two years in a row I've watched my friends run Marathons on that day.  It's been exciting and the hype of the event fills the entire town.  Last year I thought, "why haven't I tried to run"....not the Marathon of course because that would be nutso!  To my sister and my friends Bruce, Jason, and Kristin who ran last year.  Congrats!  To my friends Nancy and Kara who are planning to run this year, you are awesome!  But for me personally, THERE IS NO WAY, EVER!!!!  But I still want to participate in the hype, and since they run multiple distance races on the day, six weeks or so ago I thought, why not run the 5K.  So one day at the gym I started to jog.  I made it a mile without dying but thought, "why am I planning on doing this again?".  The next day I went 1.5.  At the end of the week I was up to 2.0.  I called my sister and said, "Hey I ran 7.5 miles this week.  I'm pretty sure that's more than I've run the entire last two years."  The next week I ran 8.  With nine weeks to go I ran 2 on a Monday, 2.5 on a Wednesday, and then 3.0 on a Friday.  It was the moment that I realized it would be totally possible for me to jog my way through a 5K but wondered, "Would it be possible for me, the hippo [graceful in the water, retched on land :)] to do a 10K."  My sister signed my brother in law (my partner in chubby crime) up for a 10K.  Maybe it is possible, and since this year the 5K has to run the night before the marathon it would definitely be more fun.  I went online and found an eight week training sheet for a 10K with a first week that had you run 2, 2, 2.5, and I thought, "Yes this is totally possible."  And so that is how today I find myself having run 3.5 miles the furthest distance that this water loving animal has every gone, which contrary to what I would have imagined feels PRETTY DARN GREAT!

Dear Middle East, How will you treat my daughters?

Did you hear about Lara Logan, the reporter working on a 60 minutes story on Egypt's joyous celebration at their new found freedom? It was outrageous and truly horrifying, but an experience that many foreign woman in the Middle East worry about.  My friend Bridget, currently living in the UAE, but who has lived and travelled all over the Middle East sums up the concerns on her blog here, the reality of living in the Middle East as American woman.   As the days have passed, the story stays in the back of mind, a dark spot that taints what was otherwise a truly remarkable piece of history.  It has added a nagging doubt, questions as to how I want to proceed with my life.  Until we finish residency, Dr. J and I have a guaranteed four more years in this country but after that, the world is open.  We have both always wanted to do something more with our lives, travel, have adventure, do something to improve the quality of life of others outside this country.  It is the reason I joined Amnesty International in college, the reason I minored in anthropology, the reason I wanted to do the Peace Core, the reason Dr J studied the Middle East, decided to go to medical school, is working on a dissertation on how to make International Aid more effective, the reason that all the residency programs we applied to had strong international aid programs that he can participate in while in residency.  Whether it be for only a few months out of the year, for a couple of years, or for the rest of our lives we have always intended to take our family out of this country.  When we think of this time, this goal we've been working toward for so long, it usually brings excitement.  And when I watch stories like this I think, "please let's take our son where no girls will be sexting him.    A place where our children won't be thrown into the sex culture in junior high, a time when let's face it, few people are ready to deal."  But then this voice in the back of my head shots out, "Dear Middle East, How Will You Treat My Children?"

The thing you have to understand about the Middle East is that little American kids stick out.  They are darlings, surrounded by groups of people, photographed via cell phone, given candy, sweets, ice cream, and small gifts by strangers.  The attention can at times be overwhelming, stifling, and downright frightening.  Kids are unable to play uninhibited at the playground because of people wanting to look at their hair, pick them up, take their pictures.  Moms get upset by people trying to walk off with their children or with adults giving gifts without asking.  In some ways it is like being a little celebrity.  When Captain E was two we experienced it on our visits to Jordan and Egypt.  His blue eyes and curly gold locks were an instant magnet.  That in and of itself is not a "true" danger as they reach into the teen years.  While I'm sure that the blue eyes my husband blessed our two oldest with could potentially increase their popularity in class, I think that strict social pressures to not date, to avoid sex until marriage, to not marry outside of ones religion will probably keep my sons much appreciated "American good looks" from turning him too much into a ladies man. 

My question is more for my daughters, specifically my blond haired, blue eyed daughter.  Middle East, will you see her as my sweet, darling girl?  Will you understand that I am teaching her to keep herself pure and clean, that I am asking her to save herself for marriage, to give herself completely only to one man who has lived a life making him worthy of her?  Will you know that I am teaching her that her body is a temple?  That I am asking her to marry in the Temple?  Will you see that I hope for her an eternal marriage, one based on complete love and fidelity?  That I am teaching her to be the type of woman you are teaching your girls to be.  Will you be able to look past your own stereotypes of what an American woman is and see that I'm raising mine to be chaste and virtuous just like your own?  Will you protect her?  Will you treat her as the treasure that she is to me?   Will you keep her safe?  Or will all the unwanted and unwarranted attention of childhood turn into unwanted and unwarranted attention in young womanhood?  Will she be safe to walk to school, to have her hair uncovered?  Or will she be targeted by unscrupulous men, both young and old who will see her as "easy" because she is American?  Will the unwanted sexual attention poured out on my friends, now be poured out on my daughter?  Lara Logan, while an extreme case, was a very visual example of the sexual harassment and abuse suffered by woman in the Middle East.  There are many arguments as to why this is the case and many hypothesises on how this can change.  I hope that as the region changes, as more freedom is realized, prosperity gained, diversity is accepted, and violence is ended that it is a problem that will dissipate.  For now though let's take hope in the 20 or so soldiers and the group of woman that pushed their way into the crowd to save Lara Logan.  They are the heros of the this horrible event and they give me hope for a brighter future, one that is safer for all woman in the region, including my someday teenage daughter. 

Day 12 Alone-My Love to Mother Tara

Today I didn't:

go crazy :)

Today I did:
take the kids trick or treating

have dishes going

have clothes in the wash

Family lore, you have to love it.  There are family stories, who knows who started them, what brought them on, but they become so interwoven that before you know it they are the truth, the history of your family.  In our family that is the Native American Ancestry.  In my father's family this would be no big deal.  He's Mexican and while it is obvious he has European (lovely facial hair and balding head prove that one) there is also a good chance he has some indigenous blood.  I also suspect he might have some Arab or Moorish blood as well, but that is just a hypothetical.  Anyway the Native American story is on my mom's, the whitie, side.  One of her oldest relatives that we have a pictures of is this very serious looking dark haired, dark eyed, exceptionally straight nosed woman.  The family rumor is that she was Native American.  There was no way we would ever know for sure...well that is until today.  I have this totally awesome little sister (Jo) living in Peru right working on mummies and DNA with her professor Haagen D. Klaus.  This is her second time down there and I guess as a little perk for all her hard work he had his lab do a mitochondrial DNA test on her.  Guess what, we are not NATIVE AMERICAN....INSTEAD WE ARE SYRIAN OR TURKISH!!!!  We belong to Haplogroup T.  The hypothesis is that 10,000 years ago this group came out of the fertile crescent, moving out toward Europe and India as agriculturalists and pastoralists.  They call the originator of the group Tara.  Thank you DNA, you are amazing :)  You know it would have been totally cool to find out we were Native American on my mom's side, I would have been ecstatic, but this is pretty cool as well.  My sister says we need to plan a trip to Syria and Turkey, I agree.  The irony on all this information is that while I look Hispanic, Jo totally looks Mediterranean.  Our whole lives I suspected it must have been some crazy throw back gene from my father.  Now we know the truth.  Seriously cool.  I think everyone should buddy up to a biological anthropologist :)

Day 5 Alone

All alone, I took the kids to a Halloween Party at my church.  I'm not going to say this is the only time I've done this.  I have this crazy perfectionist hubby who much prefers study to actual human contact.  Can I just say I love that man!  Anyway we were on are own today.  It was fun to see how into excited the kids were about their costumes.  Captain E was a black ninja.  He asked me in the car, "Mom is a black ninja good or bad?"  I told him, "Well it is up to you kiddo."  He thought about if for a second and said, "Well today I'm going to be good."  Gigi had an adorable little Bee dress.  She loved pretending she was going to give me a sting.  My kids love putting their bum on people, what can I say.  Peach was a unicorn and I wore my pjs so she could be my stuffed animal.  She was adorable.  I thought she wouldn't leaver her cap on but it turns out she loved being dressed up.  She also love trunk or treating.  She would even say thank you when prompted.  What a cutie.  I love these kiddos!!!!

Today I didn't:

ever get out of pjs; I finally took a shower at 2:00 but then I got back in new pjs for my halloween costume

clean the living room

exercise

Today I:

took my kids to the trunk or treat alone

made dinner

held down the fort with six kids at home

washed the clothes

put together the residency list for Dr. J

saw my good friend Erika, now that she is in the other ward it feels like that never happens

One man's happiness is another woman's sorrow....

Away Rotations Part of Students Medical Experience-Most Often
-Happen in 4th year.
-Are most often organize through a central service ERAS.  ERAS charges 15 dollars a school.  Some schools have secondary fees.
-A good way for students to visit institutions they are interested in and get feedback from people outside their own medical school.
-1-3 rotations are the norm.

On a personal note Dr. J decided he could fit in 2.  He got news yesterday that his second, first choice hospital had accepted him.  SO in the very near future my hubby will be leaving for nine weeks.  He will do a month at the University of Utah Hospital in the ICU.  He will then have one weekend to get himself to Oregon Health Sciences Hospital where he will do a four week stint in their Emergency Room.

THE HAPPINESS:
-A good way to see if he is still interested in these institutions.
-Time to get in good with the faculty and get more diverse letters of recommendation.
-Time to see our families.
-During this time he can set up interviews at his west coast residency choices.  The interviewing process for Medical Residencies is paid for by the student and interviewing while he is there or flying out from these closer cities will save us a few bucks in an OVERLY EXPENSIVE PROCESS!  Think this doesn't effect you.  Think again.  Next time you feel like complaining about a medical bill take into effect some doctor had to borrow money twenty years before to interview and is still paying it off with interest.

THE SORROW:
-Will be away from his family for nine weeks.  Yes he is already gone a lot but usually the kids at least get to see him around bedtime at least every third day.
-There will be no trade off, no babysitter, no regular adult conversations, no "mommy/daddy" time for nine weeks.
-I will be going to parent teacher conference alone.
-I will be doing Halloween alone for the second time in two years.  I'm seriously contemplating ditching the trunk or treat.  Public family time can sometimes be overwhelming.
-I will be having my birthday alone for the second time in two years...did I mention it was my 30th birthday.  Yes I am definitely bitter :)

Back to School Night-One woman braves the crowds with three kids in hand.

Tonight was a food failure.  Fast food nation forgive me...I took the kids to McDonald's.  Blame it on back to school night.  At 5:22 I got a call from my loving hubby, he said they had a bowel dissection and a burst appendix to take care of before he came home.  Translation...Mrs. MD you are on your own, one parent, three kids...totally outnumbered...make a plan and you just might survive. 

Equipment-I'm already one hand short so every object needs to be carefully planned.
one umbrella stroller
one baby sling
one squashed fruit (like a fruit roll)
one cell phone
one muslin blanket

Time Line-
By the time all the kids had a chance to chat with their father and say goodnight we were down to less than an hour, no shoes on any feet, nobody fed.
5:30- Have a race to get shoes on.
5:34- Grab and carry equipment with one squirming daughter dancing in the street and the other under arm.
5:40- Stop by bank to get cash.
5:50- McDonald's drive through....let the kids order a "happy meal".
6:10- Get to the school in plenty of time to eat and get parking in front of the building.
6:25- Put baby in sling, middle child in the stroller, have oldest lead the way and open doors.
6:30-7:05 Sit at cafeteria table with 100s of other parents listening to the principal go on and on about how awesome the school is and PTA beg people to volunteer.  Shush baby with squashed fruit.  Placate middle child with cell phone camera.  Have oldest play peek a boo with baby and the muslin blanket.  Sweat profusely with the stress of trying to keep all three kids quiet and seated.  Pray the talking will end soon.
7:05-7:10-Navigate the overcrowded hallways to the first grade wing.  Congratulate yourself on being smart enough not to bring the overly bulky double stroller. 
7:10-7:30-Visit classroom.  Marvel at how cute and young 24 looks (The teacher).  Be amazed at how a teacher barely starting her fourth year can be so organized.  Notice that the kids that came out of the other kindergarten classrooms still grip their pencils incorrectly and are wiggle worms and wonder why your kindergarten teacher was so stringent.  Grab the globe as it comes crashing to the floor thanks to daughter number one.  Set all kids up at the table coloring.  Pack kids back into the stroller/baby carrier and blow a sigh of relief at making it through another passage of time alone as a single parent :)

This Little Piggie...

My fridge stinks, I mean just reeks!  My hubby wanted to practice his stitch work and asked me to pick up some pig feet as volunteers.  Between call days, late nights, and early mornings the feet have been left alone, stinking up the fridge.  Today we decided to toss them.  I'd feel bad for myself but then there is my neighbor.  Her husband an entomologist is constantly bringing home dead birds and snakes to hold in the freezer until he can collect the parasites on them.  Like I said, it could be worse :)

Mole-Wife MD

We were at a indoor BBQ a couple of weeks ago for some friends who had left but were visiting.  There were a bunch of people there including some other friends from another ward.  We were in the hallway shooting the breeze with one of these couples when my husband says, "Sister so and so, this might seem a little awkward, but have you ever had that mole looked at?"  It was kind of an embarrassing moment for her and also oddly enough embarrassing for me.  Here we are having a nice little dinner and my hubby is checking out people's moles.  I teased him probably ten times about this since it happened.  Monday we were at a triward 5th of July BBQ.  As we were driving up we saw this same woman walking up with her husband.  When she saw us she started booking over our direction.  It turns out that mole was cancerous.  After Dr. J brought it up she went to the dermatologist.  They had to remove the mole and do testing to make sure the cancer hadn't spread.  This sweet sister told my hubby, "Had you not said anything, I probably would have waited to have it checked until it was to late."   Amazing...and that folks is how an embarrassing moment became something to make me proud.  I'm really grateful she came and told us that.  I know she didn't have to, but hearing it made my husband feel good.  So what should you look for if you have a mole you are worried about...ABCDE!

Asymmetry-are the sides equal?
Border-is border irregular?  Notched?  Does it have a scallop or is it indistinct?
Color-is there variation in the color?  Is there differences in the shade?
Diameter-is the mole larger than a pencil eraser head?
Elevation-is it raised from the skin?

These are all warning signals.  Moles that are changing a lot...not good news.  If you are suspicious of a mole point it out to your physician!