Saturday, December 24, 2011

Preemie Life - Day 57 Christmas Eve

so this is Christmas
and what have you done
another year over
a new one just begun
and so this is Christmas
i hope you have fun
the near and the dear ones
the old and the young
a very merry Christmas
and a happy new year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear

Christmas Eve and we are two men down.  Dr. J is working 14 hour shifts tonight and tomorrow night.  After a short nap this morning he was working like a mad man finishing up shopping, wrapping gifts, putting things together.  He ended up having to take his dinner in a Tupperware because there just  wasn't time to eat.  We did manage to get him a Santa hat and a pocketful of candy canes. Hopefully it will be an easy night and he can get some sleep and actually enjoy presents and a Cheetah visit tomorrow.  Both of us got to see Cheetah today.  We are in agreement that being without our child this year makes it the roughest Christmas to date.  At one point Gigi was crying.  She said to me, "Cheetah wasn't here when I was this old (and she held up four fingers) and now I'm this old and she's still not here (and she held up five fingers).  I think of all the kids Gigi is taking this situation the hardest :(  I wish they would let the kids visit.  I know the rules, I understand the reasons but they still bite.  I wish there was a little room for flexibility when your kiddo is as close to term as mine is and the biggest holiday of the year is upon us.  Crossing my fingers and praying real hard that our little girl can home next week.  When I was pregnant with Gigi and we were in the middle east I got to ride around on a donkey and walk around in the cave stables they use there.  It made me really reflect on the trials of Mary, travelling while pregnant, birthing her child with animals, a far from ideal beginning for the Son of God.  This year with a child missing from my arms I find myself reflecting more on our Father in Heaven.  What was it like for him to send his son to earth knowing the trials he would face?  What is it like for him to send each of us to earth?  It must be a challenge.  Even though he knows we will be home soon, does it mean the process doesn't hurt him?  In this Christmas season I'm so thankful for the love he has for us.  I'm grateful for the gift of his Son who gave all men hope with the grace he has granted us.  I love my family and long for the day when we can be together again.  Thank you to the hospital staff, thank you to my family, thank you to my friends...our family is eternally indebted to you for all your help.  Thank you to our secret Santa.  It will probably come as no surprise to anyone that halfway through the month I quit doing our advent calendar.  I just got overwhelmed, but Secret Santa was there. For twelve days they have delivered and each time that bell rang the kids went nuts.  We had fun things to eat and fun things to do!  


  1. I didn't know before about those experiences you had while pregnant with Gigi. Thanks for sharing those thoughts as well as what you are feeling now. I'm sorry for all your family has had to deal with these past months. Hope you all have an extra measure of peace as Christmas comes tomorrow.

  2. Merry Christmas—I am so glad that Secret Santa chose you. If anything, you deserved a break from creating magic for your children (that can be exhausting).

    Also, not to make you jealous, but my friend up in Canada had her baby super early a couple of weeks ago and their hospital doesn't have any visitation rules about RSV so her little kidlets have all been to the hospital to see the baby. I told her she was so, so lucky to have that experience. She said she knew.

    Cheetah will be home eventually and, probably, the other kids will be fiercely protective of her for a long time. She's a sweet, sweet girl and has a bunch of sweet, sweet siblings.



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