Monday, December 12, 2011

Preemie Life - Day 44 View from the Door

Yesterday we took the kids with us when we went to the hospital.  On the way there Peach kept saying, "We're going to the "hosbital" to bring our baby sister home."  Oh so sad, but I decided in that moment these kids absolutely had to see their sister again.  And so when I got to the hospital I asked the nurse if it would be ok if I brought Cheetah to the door so they could see her through the window.  We unhooked Cheetah and I carried her to the big doors of the Progressive Nursery floor.  The kids came to the other side and the nurses swung the door open, and for the first time in over forty days my kids were able to see their baby sister.  "Here head is so small, like a little tiny baby doll," Captain E said.  "Oh she is so cute," Gigi said.  "That's my baby sister, that's my baby sister," Peach kept repeating over and over.  They only got to see her for about a minute, but it made me feel just a little better.

Then last night I had major bad mom moment.  Cheetah is on a 9,12,3 feeding schedule.  While I'm sleeping there at night I wake up fifteen minutes to the hour so that I can get up and do temp and changing before I feed her.  Last night I feed her at 9.  Then I feed her at midnight.  At 1:30 she would not sleep and so I briefly nursed her again.  The next thing I knew it was 4:50.  I had completely slept through the three o'clock feeding...FOR THE LOVE....oh my goodness.  No one woke me up.  Poor baby.  So when the morning shift came in I had to ask them to please, please, please feed her at 8:30 instead of putting her on the end of the 9 o'clock shift, because there is no way she's going to make it until 9:30.  My poor little baby.  When I'm not there, she doesn't have anyone to hold her.  When I am there I she still doesn't have anyone to hold her, because I sleep through feedings and no one bothers to come in because they figure, "Well her mom is there."

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