Preemie Life - Day 47 - The Doctors Giveth and the Doctors Taketh...

And in a freak moment of clairvoyance, yesterdays post predicted today's outcome.  In our daily doctor call we were told that the mighty powers of white coat have decided that Cheetah can no longer breast feed until the speech therapist and doctors are certain that she is not microaspriating, and if for one second you might think that I am ok with this piece of news, let me clear up the record by saying rest assured, I AM VERY ANGRY...think black bear mama with a baby cub, think mother Buffalo, think hippo mama, think large animal who is totally capable of maiming/killing another animal.  There is this small little rational piece in my mind that is trying to reign in the whole parade and say "Well maybe they know best."  But then even that little tiny bit has doubts because the truth is no one has ever even bothered to watch my daughter breast feed and this decision was made in it's entirety by trying to guess at behavior by looking at readings from the monitors and one speech evalue today where they gave her a pacifier dipped in milk.  And so rational mind is definitley in a losing battle.  Doctor hubby says to me, "Well what are you thinking, what do you want to do?"  And I'm thinking, "What does it even matter?"  Because the truth is it doesn't matter for one single second what I think.  This child is owned by the hospital and they could care less what someone so low as the actual mother thinks.  They want us to come in this week so that we can understand what they are doing and my husband says, "Well tell them your concerns and maybe we can change their mind."  And I laugh so hard I cry and say, "You know I'm, married to a doctor.  It is impossible to change their minds.  They are always positive they are right."  And we both just have to smile at that.