Motherhood

Today is Mother's Day.  Can you believe this is the best picture we could get?  Four kids people, it is a rough picture opportunity.  My family made great efforts to make me feel special.  The meal was superb.  Honey if you every want to take over cooking, I'm game.  The children were cute.  The mom was happy.  Motherhood.  I title which I hold dear.  Not because I think I'm particularly good at it.  In fact that are many days I feel like a completely failure, and truth be told some of task I find absolutely horrendous (laundry I'm talking about your ludicrous cycle).  I think it is because I was raised by a glorious mother and nana and have since married into a family full of glorious mothers.  They sometimes yelled.  Their houses weren't always clean.  Sometimes they got me to things late.  They weren't prefect, but they made me feel perfect, loved, special, and above all important and continue to do so.  I may not have been the prettiest, the smartest, the most talented, or the one who all the boys liked (a sticking point when you are in junior high and high school), but I was and am a star in their universe and their unconditional love filled me up with a desire to share their love.  I may not do it perfect but I love my children, they are the stars of my universe and I'm so thankful for each one.

 Captain E, you made me a mother.  Your birth filled me with wonder and fear.  Every experience with you was new.  I'm sure I made tons of mistakes.  I'm sorry for that.  I hope someday when you are raising your oldest you understand and can forgive me.  Your are the trail blazer for your siblings.  You teach their mother how to be better.  You amaze me with your creativity.  You love art and writing.  You told me you want to be an author.  It wouldn't surprise me if someday that's what you did.  You also love inventing and tinkering.  You ponder on bigger problems, even those outside your sphere of knowledge and worry.  You listen to NPR stories.  You are seven.  Do you realize how odd that is?  You laugh loud.  You love running around.  Red is still your favorite color.  You gave it up for a few years ago because you thought it was girly.  Then you decided it didn't matter.  You are shy until you warm up.  Then you are silly.



G Bear.  You are my sweet daughter.  You love caring for your sisters.  You are always willing to share.  You come home from a party and divide up your spoils. I think you will be a much better mom then I ever have been.  You are patient with your sisters.  You don't mind Peach getting into your things.  You let Rosie pull your hair a million times and never yell.  This year you've started to try to assert some independence from me.  You know what you like and you aren't afraid to tell me.  Sometimes we headbutt over the issue.  You still love to cuddle though.  You are my best sleeper.  You actually put yourself to bed.  You are terrified of shots.  You talk about them all the time.  You love makeup and coloring.  You love it when I read you stories.  I told you the story of snow white last night and you actually sighed and puckered your lips when I got to the part about the prince kissing snow white.


Peach.  My little picture lover.  You drove your mother into insanity.  That's what nana says.  "Two kids you are still in control, three push you over into crazy land."  She's probably right, but you are worth the price.  You love to sing and dance.  ABCs are your favorite.  You are so friendly, you are a much requested play date companion.  You are my little insomniac.  The first one up in the morning, you'll come in to mom's bed to play ponies at six, the last one to sleep.  You want to be a big girl but also still want to be mom's baby.  Your vocabulary is immense and your chatter adorable.

My little Cheetah, my little Rose.  Your birth and early months almost broke my heart.  Now you've completely forgotten you were early.  You chatter incessantly.  When you cry, it is a perfect mimic of "Mamma..."  You are rolling all over the floor, up on hands and knees getting ready to take off.  Your siblings love you unconditionally.  The Captain is always carting you around.  Gigi will bring you her hair when you cry.  Peach loves to shower you with toys.  You are a pretty little prize, the perfect cap to our family of six.

To my husband, thank you for making me a mother, for being my other half, for making this life possible.  To my children, thank you for coming to my family.  You guys are my Sun.  My life revolves around you.  There is no other thing or person more important to me.  I'm sorry I make mistakes.  I'm learning.  I hope someday I'll be better.  Probably by the time you guys have kids I'll have it down :)  Please always know that I love you.  Thank you for all your love.