New Place, New Name

I never liked my name.  My mother would tease me as a child that I was named after a country western singer.  My father can't give me a good reason for why or how they picked my name.  I know that if I'd been a boy I would have been named Jonathan.  Four tries later when he finally got a son that is the name he used.  My next sister down has a beautiful name. It is a combination of my father's parents names.  Most of her life we called her by the nickname Joli which means pretty in French.  She is beautiful so it is sort of appropriate.  We also sometimes call her Jo and if you've seen her rock a James Dean shirt you'd understand why that name also totally fits her.  My second sister down is named after my father's dead sister and my dead grandfather.  Her name is also beautiful and sad.  My grandmother lost two daughters to childhood illnesses.  My sister's only annoyance is the fact that people are always trying to add an e to her nickname.  No e please.  My third sister down is named after our Nana and my aunt.  She has a love hate relationship with her name.  My Grandmother was the most awesome lady around.  I mean she was just great.  She was loud and soft, full of hugs and great stories.  She had an adventurous spirit and pushed the boundaries of what was expected of her.  I miss her everyday and while her name is truly sort of ear sore...think one of those thirties names that no one really mourned when they lost popularity...like Gertrude, she is an amazing woman to be named after.  My first brother is named after his father and grandfather.  My next brother is named after this kid I had a crush on in high school...which to be honest, I'm sorry Danny that is kind of a lame story so you're sort of in the same boat I'm in.  I'm named after my mother, at least in my middle name, but my first name is just this anomaly.  I've asked my father about it repeatedly and he claims he has no idea why he choose it.  It ticks me off to know end.  I personally think if you have to be saddled with a name that makes every top stripper name's list that you should at least have a good story to go along with your name.  I don't have a story.  I just have a father who picked a name that he and no one in his family can even say properly (it's just not a name that transfers over to Spanish well) So every time we get ready to move I start having this debate on the leaving the name behind.

When I was in my early twenties I took this very seriously and actually had a list that I slept with for about a month trying to narrow down my choices.  Now in my mid thirties I just think about moving to my mother's name (my own middle name)...or at least the nick-name associated with this.  I realize there is sort of a ridiculous futile nature to this.  When I was a young teen my aunt Gay asked to start being called Laurie and just recently I told my mom that Laurie wanted to see me while I was home and she asked who I was talking about and then when I said "Gay," she was like, "Oh yeah that would be fun".  A similar thing happened with my sister in law.  About twelve years ago she informed the family that she was no longer going to go by Kiera, but instead wanted to be called Marie.  The change was relatively easy for me because I hadn't been a member of the family that long, but it took my husband and father in law years to call her Marie and even now her grandmother refuses.

I don't know that I'd be as serious about it.  I mean if someone still called me by given name I'd answer but in six months I'm leaving this state. I'll be signing up for a new bank account, getting a new license, meeting a new church, a new gym, making a new friend group and so the chance is here, possibly the last one I'm going to have in my life to change what I introduce myself as and what I'm called by all the new people we meet.  So once again I'm seriously considering just showing up in our new town and introducing myself as....Beth.  What do you think?  Better or Worse?