Wednesday, April 22, 2015

What if something you enjoy suddenly scared you?

This post is a TMI.  Seriously so if you don't want to hear about my sex life I suggest you skip it, but something odd happened and it has put me in a bit of a rut.  It was so odd, J and I went back and forth about how we both wanted to post it on Facebook but then it was just too awkward, so here we are, I'm putting it on my blog and if you want to read it you can, but by all means you don't have too...I won't be offended.  So here goes, last week I had a sex headache.  I didn't even know such a thing existed before, but apparently they do, and man they suck!  We were going along, I reached climax and at that very second I was hit with the worst headache I've ever had.  It was an instant migraine and to be honest, it was terrifying.  At the first moment I thought I was dying, like maybe I had an aneurism that burst and that I was dying.  But after a few minutes I was still alive so I pulled out my phone and typed in "headache during orgasm".  And guess what, it is totally a thing.  It happens to other people.  That made me feel a little better, not great, not good but at least I knew I was probably not dying.  I got out of bed and took some high dose Excedrin.  It did nothing.  I sat in bed and cried and rolled around until almost three when I finally fell asleep.  I woke up at seven and the migraine was still there.  More medicine, still had a headache.  It wasn't until the second morning that I finally felt okay.  And now the thing is I terrified of having another one.  The headache was bad, anyone who suffers from migraines knows they are no picnic, but it was the way it happened that makes me crazy.  It was the best moment turning into the worst moment.  It just made it so much worse.  And so here we are a week later and I'm suffering PTSD....or as J and I have been joking post traumatic sex disorder.  Except it isn't really a joke because now I don't want to orgasm.  For a day I was like, I'm never going to have sex again, but then I was like, this is ridiculous, I should be fine as long as I don't orgasm.  That's right, I should be fine...as long as I don't climax.  Have I lost my mind?  I'm Mormon people and this is pretty much the only mood alternating thing I have.  No alcohol, no nicotine, no coffee, no pot or X in my past.  I have been at concerts and refused joints, or passed alcohol bottles at parties without taking a swig.  I have never had coffee to help me wake up in the morning, or  alcohol to help me loosen up at parties.  Mostly I'm okay with that.  I've seen the negative sides and would rather not take the risk but I do get to have this one great thing other people have.  Granted I waited until I was 21 and married but it is definitely something that has made my life more enjoyable.  Except now that thing is scaring me, freaking me out.  It is silly right, crazy even. Thirteen years and this never happened before.  The chances of it happening again are low almost nonexistent, but there is still a chance and man it makes me nervous. Ahhhh seriously so frustrating.  Makes you really appreciate when things work the way they are suppose to :(

2 comments:

  1. If I could talk to you, I would talk about this! Not sure I want to post! :o) I am too old and too easily embarrassed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've never heard of such a thing, and I hate this happened to you. Hoping it was a one-time thing. So sorry!

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