Monday, February 1, 2010

Valentine's Day Gifts

This will be my eighth Valentine's Day with my hubby. I still have no idea what I'll get him. Last year I scored a coup I can't possibly beat. Two words: Crotchless Panties. I tell you the man nearly died on the spot. What could be more useless than a crotchless pantie? Isn't the whole point the crotch? I guess function isn't the point. Or should I say a different function is the point. Seven years, three kids, you wouldn't have known it. This year no ideas. Electronics? Clothing? Man Jewelry? How about I just clean up his desk area. He meanwhile is probably thinking she never tells me what to get her. Husbands let me tell you, you are wrong! We always tell you. At Christmas when you asked if we have diamond earnings and we say no, that was a promise you made. It is time to cash in. When we mention our shoulder's hurt we are really saying, "Please honey, send me to a message therapist." When we say we are having trouble keeping up with the house we are really saying, "Take some time and clean it for me." When we mention our out of control eyebrows we are saying take me to the Salon. When we say our car is dirty we are asking you to wash it. Open you ears. We are telling you exactly what we want.

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