Thursday, June 23, 2011
Politically Correct Fairy Tales
I should start out by saying I don't tell my kids fairy tales. I have a mother who would sit on my floor every night in the dark singing and telling stories for hours on end, but I am a schedule person, and so my kids put pjs on, brush teeth, go potty, pick two books a piece for me to read to them, listen to one short scripture story, have prayer, get in bed, and get one song a piece. The whole thing takes about half an hour. Occasionally when their dad is home for bedtime they will convince him to tell them a story, but he prefers his own made up concoctions about cheese and cracker best friends, Mr Jelly bean who has been know to poop jelly bellies when scared, and a incredibly smart but sometimes naughty Ricky Raccoon. And so though I have three children, one who is seven years old I rarely if ever "tell" a story, but that has all changed with my daughter Peach. My other two children have been champions at going to bed. The process works for them, they love picking their own story, and they stay in their bed. Peach on the other hand, complains, cries, calls my name, climbs out of bed, and will bother the other two. I find myself more often sitting in the room after the lights are out telling stories I know by heart rather then reading them. And that is how I ended up telling the story of Red Riding Hood last night. As I get to the part about the wood cutter chopping the wolf in half my son Captain E says, "Mom you have it wrong, that isn't the way the story ends." Well seeing as I've told him this story exactly one time and I've heard it thousands from the mother's fading voice I say, "Yes it is." "No it's not," he insist, "Little Red Riding hood is heard by a policeman, and that policeman comes and arrest the wolf, and takes him off to prison and the granny is in the closet, not in the wolves' belly." And so I guess first grade beat me to punch and their version is a little more PC, although let's be honest, neither of them make any sense.