Tuesday, October 7, 2014


A few years ago I found the show Six Feet Under and binged watched the entire five seasons in just a few weeks.  It is a dark difficult adult drama but there were so many mirrors to my own life that I felt physically attached to all the characters and I mourned and celebrated with them.  Then I got to the last episode.  I always morn the end of a series that I adored.  I feel like I'm about to lose some friends and then there is always this moment where I'm like, "What if I've finished watching the last television show I'm ever going to enjoy."  Isn't that hilarious, sad, a little pathetic?  Who even thinks like that?  But here I was at the last episode of Six Feet Under and I was a little stressed about how it was going to end and then in the final four minutes it had the best ending that I have ever seen on any movie or TV show.  I cried like a baby.  Then I re-watched it again, and again, and then I got out my iTunes and I immediately bought the song Breathe Me, by the artist Sia.  I'd never heard of her before that moment and suddenly I was obsessed.  I mentioned this to my sister-in-law last year when I was telling her how lucky I thought she was to live in Vegas where everyone comes to do concerts and I was giving her a list of people I wanted to see.  She told me her cousins wife Aja plays Sia to put her baby to sleep...this Aja happens to be Aja Volkman, of Nico Vega and the child she is putting to sleep at night is the daughter she had with her husband Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragon.  I figure if Sia is good enough to put their baby to bed then she's good enough for my babies as well and so while I feel a little shame about my pop music obsession I never feel guilty about Sia.

Today I'm feeling a little down.  I don't really have a reason, I just am.  It might be slightly related to the fact that my latest binge show has been Bones, and I finally caught up to the current season.  Then I watched the season opener of season 10.   It's put me in sort of a mood.  Or it might be that my birthday is in ten days and Dr. J is still playing his RPG game that he has been playing since two of my birthday ago.  To date that game has ruined two birthdays, two Thanksgivings, two Christmases and whole lot of my free time.  Nothing like looking back at your Christmas pictures and seeing your husband on his phone in every single one.  Look I love my husband and he has a lot of great traits but RPG's are of the devil.  Anytime you are willing to pass up just about anything because you feel an obligation to your guild (people you've never met in real life whose lives have no real baring on yours)...well it should be a sign you have a problem.  Maybe it is because while I'm super excited about a little life change I have coming up this week I'm also a little nervous.  Maybe it just has to do with dreading the 27 hour drive it is going to take to get me to my family.  I'm super excited to go and see them but 27 hours in the car is a long time!  Plus if I want to see my sister I need to throw another 14 hours each way on top of that, and people I want to see my sister.  I've seen her second daughter exactly twice and have never seen her baby who will be a year at Thanksgiving.  I should exercise but I just don't feel like it and so I've been self medicating with candy and bits of salted pork.  I wish I was kidding.  I'm not.  Since I'm in a little funk I decided to do some Sia love.  My marathon started with Breathe Me and ended with her current hit Chandelier.  Man this lady is amazing, her voice, her tempos, her lyrics, her instrument choices, everything, it just squeezes my heart.  Maybe not the best pick me up but definitely makes me feel.  I read somewhere that she suffers from depression so severe that she's considered suicide at times.  That makes me seriously sad and I wish her better days ahead but there is no denying that she is able to capture a wealth of emotion and push it into pop music and that people respond.  Sia is definitely someone I want to see in concert.


  1. Best of luck on your drive, Crystal. Is there any way to convince your sister to drive out to visit you? If having a place to stay is an issue I can hook her up! :)

    Sorry things are so rough. :/

  2. I know what you mean about a series ending and feeling blue because you feel as if you are losing friends. I totally get that.

    Hope you have a good trip as you visit your family!

  3. Jerk husband and his RPG. I hope he quits



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