What My Laundry Says About Me

I love Sherlock Holmes, you know how he looks at little tiny details and can tell you your life story.  Today while I was folding laundry I realized you could tell a heck of a lot about my family from that pile of clothes.

1) I'm a one and done kind of person.  No small load every day here people, no I wait until one day a week, the day when I run out of absolutely every pair of underwear I own and then I just muscle through huge piles.

2) Except I also like to procrastinate.  Because even though I only want to do laundry one day a week I started washing on Saturday and here it is Wednesday and I'm finally folding.

3) I'm cheap.  I can tell this by the fact that all of our underwear is no longer white, but sort of this graying color.  Do I like gray colored underwear, no, but do I want to buy more, heck no.

4) I'm a tad careless.  More than one pair of underwear has gotten pen stains on it from pens Dr. J has left in his work shirts.  He has done this more than once so you think I'd have learned my lesson, that when I tell him he'd better check his pockets because I don't he is going to forget and I still need to check, but still I forget to check his pockets.

5) I'm impatient.  I have more than one pair of underwear that have been slightly stained by a new pair of indigo jeans or a salmon skirt that said, "Colors will run, wash first before wear" that I completely ignored and just wore anyway.

6) I like to feel clean.  Since there is a pair of underwear for everyday it is a good guess I shower everyday.

7) But I must not mind a little dirt.  There is not a pair of pants for everyday, so even though I have something like 15 of pairs of jeans I stick with my favorites which I wear two-three times before I wash them.

8) My older kids don't shower enough :(  I only found two pairs of underwear for the week for Captain E and Gigi.  Theoretically I'd like them to shower at LEAST every other day, but obviously I'm not hitting that goal.  Maybe we can just say they are conserving water :)

9) I have a just barely four year old who has way too many accidents.  I swear there are fifteen pairs of underwear in there, although a couple aren't ours and need to be returned to friends at whose houses she's peed.  She does this thing where she wants me to take her to bathroom, turn the lights on, open the toilet and the whole time she's standing around doing a potty dance and then she pees a tiny bit.  Or just as often she gets on the pot on time but pees off the edge onto her pants.  Seriously child you are killing me.

10) I hate to iron.  There is a pile of fifteen or so work shirts sitting on our treadmill.  I keep hoping Dr. J will fold and iron them but when you get as little time as he does off, I guess the last thing you want to do is iron....still though :(

11) Speaking of those shirts my husband is a white collar/professional.  He has to dress in slacks, button down shirts, and a tie almost everyday.  But not a white collar professional making tons of money because I'm still doing his laundry and not sending it out to the dry cleaners.

12) Most likely in the medical field.  There are two pairs of scrubs a week (from his 24+4 call days) and a clean lab coat waiting to be ironed.

13) Hubby sleeps in his pajamas, I don't.  When I was a child it always embarrassed me that my mom only slept in her underwear.  "Mom," I would yell, "I can totally see through those."  Well here we are fifteen years later and I finally understand.  I hate things bunching around my waist when I'm sleeping.

14) I'm Mormon.  We wear top and bottom underwear.

15) I am not a small woman.  My husband is a thin man.

16) I have four children.  One boy, three girls.  The boy is somewhere between the ages of 8-10, long legged but thin, everything is size slim and has elastic with buttons to cinch the waist.  He wears a lot of pairs of socks, especially considering it is summer, but is careless with where he takes them off because three are missing mates.  There is a girl age 5-7 also long legged and thin.  She hardly ever wears socks.  She likes the color pink and she loves skirts.  There is a girl 3-4.  She also likes dresses and favors the color purple.  There is a baby girl 6 months-2.

17) I either don't work or have a job where I can dress casual.

18) I love Target.

So there you go, everything I could figure out about myself while folding my drawers.  Man I wish laundry wasn't so tedious or if I do have to keep doing it that the new season of Sherlock would start so I could at least stare at Benedict Cumberbatch while I fold.  Is that too much to ask?