Baby Blues - The First Month

The first month of Baby Boy's life just rushed by and to be honest I spent most of it in a sleep deprived haze.  It took our guy probably two weeks to really start packing on the pounds and those first three visits I had at the doctor to check his weight were so stressful.  This was my first time having baby blues.  I don't know how I'd never had it before I haven't but this time it hit me like a train.  I was crying all the time.  Things that made me sad I cried, things that made me happy I cried, things that were just there I cried.  I went to the doctor to have his weight checked and I cried.  The doctor turned to Dr. J and said, "Is she ok?  Is she going to be ok?"  "I think so," he said.  To be honest it wasn't reassuring.  I actually went online to read about baby blues.  I saw that anything past 10 days after birth is considered postpartum depression and I started counting down.  I tried not to talk about his birth at all because every time I did I started to cry and I didn't want to tinge my happy memories with sadness.  I tried to sleep, the kids went back to school, and Dr. J went back to work and then like the sun coming out on a foggy day the sadness and frustration started to wane.  It seriously was about ten day before I could give a real smile again, before I could talk to my other children without yelling, and before I could see a commercial about kids online and not cry.  I was so relieved but I also felt so sad that 10-15% of woman suffer from postpartum depression.  If by chance you are one of those woman please, please, reach out and seek help.  Talk to a doctor, a partner, a family member.  Those feelings are real and you are no less of a person because you are experiencing them.  I have a couple of messenger friends who live far away who I always contact when I needed to feel a little grounded.  Those girls were my rock as I counted down.  It made me realize that when your doctor is asking those mental wellness questions in that post baby checkup that they aren't just boxes that need to be checked, for some they are a true lifeline. 

My OB gave me this onsie and I love it!  I did not love having a c-section but I loved her.  She was the best.